I’ve been awake for 42 hours straight.
For some reason, the plane was impossible to sleep on, and I found Anna Karinina more entertaining. Also, I just could not shut my mind off.
Thoughts of “what if” poured into my sleepless mind:
- What if I can’t find a story?
- What if my story takes more than one day?
- What if I don’t come out with a story a day?
- What if I forget how to talk to people?
- What if these threats aren’t just threats?
We’ve basically had these past two days off. It was the “vacation” part of our adventure. We flew. We explored Amsterdam. We flew again. We had a lovely Russian meal (so good!), and we will fly again. Then the works begins. What if I’m not ready?
In high-intense situations like these, I find myself questioning my abilities. Compared to the photographers on this trip, I really can’t take a good picture. Compared to other writers on this trip, I really can’t come up with a great and singular angle. And compared to the PR team on this trip…well, I just can’t.
But the day hasn’t even started yet. We haven’t even landed in Sochi. Shoot, we haven’t even left for Sochi.
As I was getting ready this morning, I expressed some of these concerns to a teammate. She said, “Don’t worry about things you can’t control.”
My mom has probably told me this more than I can count on my fingers and toes, but this time it just seemed to hit me (sorry, mom!)
I am going to go out there and do my best. Regardless of what that looks like or how it comes about. And that’s all I can ask of myself.
But first: bed.
BSU at the Games is a freelance news agency operated by 22 student journalists reporting from the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympic Games through an immersive-learning program at Ball State University.