Love letter from Russia

Dear Beyoncé,

Thank you.

Your super-secret album “BEYONCÉ” came out at the right time in my life. It’s as if you knew the catchy songs about women empowerment and the phat beats would be the perfect remedy to inspire me.

I danced to “Partition,” “Drunk in Love” and “Blow” as I was slinging pizza at Greeks Pizzeria. “Pretty Hurts” and “Blue” helped calm me down as I read through boring textbooks. As I edited stories for the school paper and worked on homework “Haunted” and “XO” kept me from straying away on Facebook or Instagram.

Finally, when I reached my breaking point and wanted to throw in the towel, “***Flawless” and “Grown Woman” reminded me if I wanted to get anywhere in life, I had to work for it.

Regards,

A grown man who can do whatever he wants.

P.S. Even though you’ve helped me keep a level head recently, you may owe everyone around me an apology, as they witnessed me try to sing and dance like you. Needless to say, I cannot.

 

Dear Netflix,

Thank you.

Stressful days have taken over my life. Getting on campus at 9 a.m. and not returning home until 9 p.m. has taken its toll on my sanity. I’ve got names of athletes, dates, forms, money problems and pizza orders running through my mind constantly.

At 11 p.m. every night, I sit on my cat-hair-covered couch in my boxer briefs with a glass of ice water in one hand and a wii-mote in the other. I have a date with my TV, and you’re invited.

I don’t need to scroll through the endless movies and TV shows you have to offer; I know what I’m watching. It’s number one on my instant que, and the five stars underneath the title shine bright gold: It’s time to re-watch season 5 of “Malcolm in the Middle.”

Call me a sucker for loving a sitcom about a dysfunctional family, or immature for laughing at Bryan Cranston (the man who knocks on doors on “Breaking Bad”) performing an intricate rollerblading dance routine. I don’t care. I can tune in and take my mind off of Sochi, even if it is only for an hour a night.

Sincerely,

Life is unfair

 

Dear Delta Airline,

Thank you.

Leaving a day early could have pushed me over the edge. As I scrambled to get everything packed into two small bags, the last thing on my mind was the airplane I would be boarding.

The realization I would be sitting in the same spot for seven hours set in as I wiggled around in the passenger seat of the spacious mini van. I changed positions three times before we even got onto the interstate. I settled on putting my feet on the dashboard.

Lord, I was in trouble.

The first flight was quick, and my excitement outweighed my constant need to readjust, but as I boarded the flight to Amsterdam, I was already uncomfortable. The seats were tiny and my tall, thick frame would not be able to sit on this 8-hour trip.

I was ready to jump out of plane when the T.V. screen in front of me popped up with a list of free movies. Sold. If I couldn’t fall asleep at least “Kick Ass 2” and “Juno” could keep me company.

Then they gave me FREE food and FREE beer. I drank three as I listened to Bastille through dinner with the free radio. It must be how Queen Elizabeth feels as he travels: pure royalty.

Sure I couldn’t sleep, but at least I felt inspired to take on life after watching “The Help.”

Sincerely,

A future frequent flyer

 

RYAN HOWE is a student at Ball State University, and is participating in BSU at the Games, which is a freelance news agency operated by 22 student journalists reporting from the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympic Games through an immersive-learning program.

 

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